If you’ve ever been in a workplace where the same arguments keep coming back again and again, you already know how exhausting it is. Nothing really gets solved. Meetings end, tempers cool, and then, two weeks later, you are having the same fight. Circular fighting doesn’t usually start because people are bad. It starts because something underneath never gets dealt with.
The phenomenon is called “circular fighting,” a recurring argument loop where the same issue is rehashed again and again. Emotions get heated, and both sides may feel unsafe. It’s annoying anytime it happens, but especially annoying in business environments, as it creates an unpleasant situation that can bring the overall workplace productivity down.
The go-to patterns in circular fighting include topic-shifting and “evidence dumping,” lack of closure, physiological effects (heart-racing, tight chest), flooding with multiple past offences and character attacks (always/never, you’re just)
One big reason is that people are on high alert. When a team has gone through tension, layoffs, bad leadership, or sudden changes, everyone becomes cautious. People listen less and defend more. Even neutral comments feel like attacks. In that state, small issues get blown up because everyone is already bracing for impact.
Then there is betrayal, or at least the feeling of it. Maybe someone went behind another person’s back. Maybe decisions were made without transparency. Once trust cracks, the stakes change. Conversations stop being about the actual issue and start being about control, protection, and “not getting burned again.” That is when arguments stop moving forward.
Another quiet problem is that without structure, the goal shifts. Initially, the goal may be to solve a problem. However, as tensions rise, the focus gradually shifts to being right, protecting one’s reputation, or proving another person wrong. Nobody says it out loud, but you can feel it happening.
What helps here is resetting the goal from winning to understanding. Or more simply: relate first, then reason. When people feel heard, they soften. When they don’t, logic doesn’t land at all. You cannot reason your way out of a fight where no one feels safe.
There is also negativity bias and confirmation loops at play. Once you believe someone is difficult, you start noticing only the things that confirm that belief. Every comment becomes evidence. This creates a loop where both sides feel justified, even while the conflict gets worse.
Finally, watch out for moving targets. One week, the issue is deadlines. Next week it is communication. Then suddenly it’s “attitude.” When the problem keeps changing, resolution becomes impossible. You need to slow things down and clearly define what’s actually being discussed, and stick to it.